Dear Fathers...

I don't think there is a topic other than this one that hurts young people the most than the topic of 'FATHERS'.  You get two types of fathers in this world. The one who is faithful and true, then the one who went to the shop to buy milk and did not return. This is a blog, a letter to all fathers whether faithful or unfaithful.

Now firstly I want to say, when you became a husband you became a father. Fatherhood is not solely based on whether you have children or not. The day you made covenant with your wife is the day you made covenant to be family. There is so much at risk and so much to gain.

There are fathers, much like the ones we too often see in our communities and cities who are not taught well because they have not had a father themselves. So the cycle repeats itself throughout generations leaving so many scars and voids. You walk out on us like we just another child from your seed.

You are the reason why we some of us turned gay. You are the reason why we young daughters turn lesbian because you weren't there to protect her when she was raped. You are the reason why we joined gangs because you didn't show us affection and told us you loved us. So next time we hear those words it is like heaven and we fall into the arms of the perpetrator. What happened when you said "Ahhh I like this woman" and twenty years after you married her you decided you are bored and found someone naked in front of you knowing that your wife was laying at home? There are so many scenarios that I cannot type right now because there are just too many.

It is not fun and games to just divorce and have sex here and there. Have you thought about those consequences?

To the faithful fathers. Next time you see breasts and it is not your wife's then please run away! Next time you thought about having sex with another man's wife secretly, think about what will your children say and what would your madam's children say. Think about the many followers you would disappoint and set foolish standards. Look at those foolish ones who broke up their own families for the rush of orgasms and hormonal drives. Look at those ones who left, abused their children and wives, through in the towel and learn, learn, learn!

How could you possibly get bored of the one you so pursued? The one you bought flowers for and the one you spent money on?

Where did those fathers go? The ones who are still deep in love with their wives even after 40 years of marriage? The one who still gets aroused and sexually excited when he looks at his wife after many many seasons of familiarity? The ones who thought about sacrificing for their children? The one who cleans his wife who has been sick for nine years and still says he loves her even though she doesn't understand?

Now we, who you made and brought into the earth suffer the consequences. We are now broken. Possessed because we were looking for something more. Oppressed because we did not know the father figure. Depressed because you left us to work for your family. We carry your burdens, your families and your wives. Your ex wives raises children by herself and she fights to wake up in the morning because she works two jobs a day to keep bread on the table.

Where the heck are the faithful fathers? Why don't you teach the broken fathers how to father their families, communities and cities?

We are calling all fathers to their sons and to their daughters. The fathering role is a powerful one and it might be hard reconciling with your children and family. But their hearts are crying out for you and a relationship to be built on trust and honesty and not broken empty promises. Stop forcing children to be fathers for you. Stop forcing mothers to be husbands and leaders for you. Because we CANNOT!


Fathers of South Africa (And I quote my friend Lauren in this statement: Please stand up!)