I had shared this dream with a friend, and he told me he maybe thinks that I am walking away from a certain type of thinking and not necessarily the church. Well, a few weeks later I did leave the church I was a part of, and whether or not the dream confirmed that, I don't know. I definitely can agree that the dream meant that I was walking away from a certain type of thinking.
Google translates a paradigm as a noun which means a typical example or pattern of something. It also means a distinct set of concepts or thought patterns.
This year started off quite hardcore for me. I spent the 1 January 2019 on my friend's couch crying about the state of my soul. There were many factors that came into play which led me to that particular moment. And when I look back now, all I see is transformation.
I just got back from a weekend away with my life group. It was such a lekker weekend. Heavy chill and vibey moments had us all weekend. But I couldn't help myself to reflect on what I learned this year. I thought about what I would say if people were to ask what this year meant for me. I thought about the word, TRANSFORMATION. So much has changed on the outward, but this only happened because my entire paradigm was being shifted and challenged.
What changed you might ask? Well I will discuss a few points below, and I am really open to conversation about this if you wish to talk about it.
1. Leadership
My perception on leadership has changed dramatically! If I ever thought I knew what being a leader was, I had to think again. The community I am a part of now definitely catapulted that for me, just by being so intentional about people.
I would think about leadership in the way that was taught in church life and in other spheres of society. But all I knew was that particular way. Now I am in an environment where leadership is not hierarchical or where one person has the final say. Leadership now for me is giving space to other people, leading the person and not the program, being open to other thoughts and probing questions to allow people to think for themselves. Leadership also looks like open communication and feedback, not changing who you are, but being authentic in the way you lead people.
2. Church
I think leadership ties in with my next point which is Church.
It is clear to see that I am in a different environment. An environment of which I was never exposed to. Numa Life, the church I am currently a part of, never looked like church I grew up in or was exposed to. Numa has literally become a breath of fresh air for me.
What I love about Numa is the fact that I can be authentic in who I am as an individual. I found that churches I grew up in wanted to actively transform you into what they perceived church to look like. Here I am now, learning to be myself and who I am called to be in Jesus but not through the mould of what church wants me to look like. My thoughts are valued here. My opinion is cherished. But most importantly I feel SEEN. I am loved by these people. I am actively loved.
The concept of diversity is also greatly celebrated in this community of people. My love for South Africa and Africa as a whole has grown so much. If you know me, you would know that I was an extreme Bethel fan. I knew the worship leaders, knew their spouses, who was new and who left. I followed these people because they greatly impacted me. Now that looks really different. I still love Bethel, but I have been exposed to the sound of Africa and wow! I'd prefer to worship to music of the people of the land than someone coming from the West.
3. Life
I put so much away because of what church structure wanted us to look like. It was still very much through the lens of the words you can't do that, you can't do that, you can't do that. Now it is an open conversation about why we are doing what we are doing and this conversation will bring us closer to the root of our actions. I feel like only then we can truly decide from understanding and not out of obligation.
As much as I was unlearning my old ways this year, I have also experienced so many beautiful and wild moments.
One of the most beautiful moments for me was watching my sister give birth to twins! This will forever be tops for the list of 2019. I am an uncle to two beautiful babies!
I also had the honour of ministering alongside some We Will Worship movement's peeps at First Fridays, Cape Town which was always a vibe and something to look forward to on the First Friday of every month. Side note, we will be starting again in February next year.
I made so many awesome connections and my friends have multiplied. My circles are no longer circles but lines connecting from one side of the city to another side of the city.
I am so thankful for this year. I started off this year crying, but I am entering the new year dancing and laughing!
The Lord truly takes our sorrow and turns them into joy. We only have to seek it out in Him and walk boldly in the joy He has given us.
Here is to 2020!
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New Beginnings
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