Learning to laugh and smile again

Most of us built coping mechanisms to help us cope especially when we have been deeply hurt by circumstances or by people. We learn how to shield ourselves of potential threats and we develop thick skin as they call it.

Well for me this was a very true part of who I became over the years and how I lived life. I wore facades like a second skin and I smiled to everyone and everything but I was hurting on the inside. I attended a special family gathering where many of my family were reunited in last week. Something really special stood out for me as we celebrated my two aunties birthdays with lots of singing, dancing and eating. My aunt Jacqui's smile and laugh! After being through so much, she has remained strong in Christ and is setting an example to many who would come across her path. I found myself just staring into her beautiful face as she would burst out into pure laughter and joy as the night progressed. There was purity of joy I saw in her face that radiated in the room.

I think for me, I connected the wires in my brain to not connect so that I would just be okay, surely okay was better than being down until it became natural.

I became selfish, hard wired, serious, uptight and isolate because I didn't enjoy who I became, who I learned to be. This was not me! This is not who I intended to be, but after I got my heart broken a little and after my trust was messed up a little I started living as if I was out to kill. Rather to kill than be killed was an attitude I soon picked up.

As I was working with my good friend Lauren Hannie tonight, I started to appreciate friendship again. Even today as I shared lunch with a special brother of mine, it was so special to just sit without technology and enjoy the company of another. This is part of that joy of life, amongst such a lot of aspects of joy that is in front of our eyes that we so easily miss.

I pray that my heart awakens to this joy that He said would carry us as it is our strength!

Nehemiah 8:10
The Joy of the Lord is our strength!

May we be found dancing and rejoicing in the love of God and people. Yes maybe we were hurt and abused, but let us put those things behind and look at our futures with optimistic eyes. Smile a little. Laugh a little. Call someone and tell them you love and adore them. Write someone a love letter. Treasure the small and big moments that can so easily be taken away from us in a split second. There is turmoil in this life but even in the hardest of times we can find joy coming like the break of day!

Shalom.